Ways to build and enhance emotional intimacy in the relationship?

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Written By:

Counselling Psychologist - M.Sc. Psychology - Swansea University, UK.

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Reviewed By:

Counselling Psychologist - Ph.D. Relationship Psychology

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What is Emotional Intimacy? 

Emotional intimacy refers to the ability to form a deep connection with your partner that is filled with trust, respect, and vulnerability. It is a special bond that is created when two or more people trust each other and are comfortable with being vulnerable with each other. When people are emotionally connected they don’t fear rejection or judgment from the other and can share their thoughts, feelings, and emotions openly. People who are emotionally intimate have the ability to be good listeners and are empathetic to their partner’s concerns as well. When you and your partner are emotionally intimate with each other, you are able to form a beautiful bond where you both feel fulfilled and happy.

How does Emotional Intimacy help in building a long-lasting Relationship?

Emotional intimacy is vital for sustaining any healthy and happy relationship. This is the one trait that is driving emotional intimacy is trust. When there is emotional intimacy in a relationship it means that the couple trusts each other enough to express themselves authentically.

When you trust your partner with your true self and the thoughts, emotions, and feelings that come with it, then you are creating a healthy long-lasting relationship. Emotional intimacy guarantees coordination and sync between you and your partner. A relationship without emotional intimacy is like two people who love each other in very uncoordinated ways. 

Ways to Build and Enhance Emotional Intimacy in Relationship 

Building emotional intimacy does not happen overnight and it is a process that one must engage in regularly to keep the spark and passion alive, 

Empathetic Communication

The key to every successful relationship is having open, honest, and regular communication with your partner. However, many people overlook one more important aspect and that is empathy. In order to build emotional intimacy with your partner, you must be empathetic to them. This means that you should see situations from their perspective, by placing yourself in their shoes. This will give you a better picture of what and how they are feeling. This way you’ll be more present with your partner and they will begin to trust you more with information. 

Use Love Language

A useful way of building more emotional intimacy with your partner is using love languages. Love languages refer to the different ways in which people receive and give love in their relationships. Every person has a unique combination of love languages but in general, there are primarily 5 love languages - physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, and gifts. Understanding your and your partner s love language will help you build a stronger emotional bond. Showing love and appreciation can go a long way in strengthening an emotional bond. 

Share Stories

A unique way to create an emotional bond with your partner is to share stories with them. This can be over weekly dates or over dinners with them. If you share stories of your past life, these could be funny stories, achievement stories, or emotional stories, you are involving your partner in your life. This is a great way to enhance emotional intimacy. It is almost like you are giving your partner an “in” into your life. Sharing your intimate stories with your partner can help you create a shared sense of your history. You can even recall the memories with your partner from time to time to remember how long you’ve come. 

Do something Exciting

Many of us are caught up in our busy lives and forget to take the time out to do exciting things like travel, eat a different cuisine, etc. When we do something exciting we are often nervous, but if we do exciting things with our partner we share our nervousness. This is always comforting. It helps in creating a stronger bond with your partner because you are exploring adventurous things together. This could be anything ranging from going on a difficult trek or joining a sports class. 

Create a Shared Routine

One of the ways in which you can enhance your emotional intimacy with your partner is by creating a shared routine with your partner. When you and your partner are able to establish a sense of togetherness within a routine, then you are going to feel a deeper connection with them. This can be cooking a meal together, having a bedtime routine together, working on chores together or even joining a hobby class. This allows you and your partner to strengthen your emotional bond together. 

Take Care of Yourself

It will be incomplete if we don’t mention the importance of taking care of yourself when you are trying to build emotional intimacy with your partner. It is important to set boundaries with your partner that protect your independence. It’s always healthy to be reliant on your partner, but being overly dependent on your partner can be unhealthy.

While building emotional intimacy with your partner, you must engage in activities and behaviors that maintain your individuality. If you don’t do this you are going to find yourself in an enmeshed relationship where you cannot separate yourself from your partner. This is not healthy for you or for the well-being of your relationship. 

As we mentioned previously, emotional intimacy cannot be built overnight. It is an ongoing process and requires regular effort.  To enhance emotional intimacy it is important that you are vulnerable from time to time and embrace your partner’s vulnerability as well. When you nurture this vulnerability and understanding, you are putting yourself on the path to building a beautiful emotional connection with your partner. 

Ms. Priyanka Walia
Ms. Priyanka Walia M.A. Counselling Psychology Counselling Psychologist 05 years of experience

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Ms. Muskan Maheshwari
Ms. Muskan Maheshwari M.Sc. Clinical Psychology Clinical Psychologist 02 years of experience

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Mr. Nishant Sharma
Mr. Nishant Sharma M.Phil. Clinical Psychology Clinical Psychologist 07 years of experience

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Ms. Akshita Bakshi
Ms. Akshita Bakshi Ph.D. Relationship Psychology Counselling Psychologist 05 years of experience

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