Choosing between your partner and your parents can be one of the most complex and conflicting situations to be in. It is normal for there to be some disagreement between your partner and your parents. However, if you find that the disagreements cause extreme distress to all the parties involved, then you might be faced with the difficult situation of choosing between them.
Here are some things to keep in mind when making a decision between your partner and your parents
Reflect on the Why
One of the first things you should do is to reflect and evaluate why it is that you have to choose between your partner and your parents. Is someone forcing you to make this decision? If so, why? Perhaps your partner and your parents have differing belief systems and values. Do they seem to get into an argument every time they get together? Perhaps they just don’t get along. Evaluating the reason behind choosing is an important first step.
Analyze the Relationship
After you have reflected on the reason behind making the choice, analyze the relationship between your partner and your parents. Try to view the relationship they share objectively, as a third-party viewer, and understand if there is any way your parents and your partner can form a healthy or cordial relationship with each other. If you think it is impossible, understand why. Perhaps both parties have differing expectations from the relationship which is causing the conflict to arise.
Reflect on Your Beliefs
Once you have identified the expectations of both parties from an objective perspective, the next step is to reflect on your own personal values and beliefs. You must clearly understand what it is that you value in life and how you want to build your future. If you are being forced by either party to choose, understand if the decision is worth it and if it will help you. However, if you are making a choice to protect both parties, then gain clarity on that as well. It is very important to understand what you want.
Supportive Party
To make a decision that you won’t regret in the future, it is important to understand who you can count on truly. If you choose your partner over your parents but your partner does not support you and is not doing a good job meeting your needs, then you will stand to gain no benefit. While the decision to make a choice is painful in itself, it is always advisable to choose a party that is going to support you for your beliefs and wants.
Set Clear Boundaries & Communicate
If you find yourself in such a situation where you have to make a choice between your partner and your parents, setting a boundary is an absolute must. It is especially important to set a boundary with the party you are not choosing. For example, if you decide to choose your partner over your parents, you must communicate your reasons clearly to your parents. Irrespective of who you choose it is important that you show them the basic respect of communicating to them. It is not healthy to just ghost or cut off someone. This will help them move on from your decision as well.
Seek Professional Help
While the above tips can be helpful in deciding between your partner and your parents, we understand that it is still a tricky situation to navigate past. In such cases, seeking professional help is often the best solution. Relationship experts or Family Therapists will help you in making a decision that leaves you feeling happy and satisfied. Their expert guidance will help you gain clarity over your decision or might help you navigate through the difficulties so both parties can coexist with each other amicably.