We are all told that we should practice self-love, but what does
self-love actually do? In simple terms, self-love is simply choosing
yourself above others, prioritizing your health, needs, and wants in
order to fulfill your desires. This does not equal to being selfish,
self-love can be practiced while having healthy relationships with other
people. Once you choose yourself, you will also choose people who are
good for you and the relationships which you make like you are of worth
and which don t exhaust you.
Choosing Yourself Can Further Help You To
-
Get to know yourself better- it is easy to sometimes
lose yourself in work and get occupied with a variety of things that
we deal with every day. Choosing yourself, and spending time with
yourself would allow you to retrospect and introspect upon your own
thoughts and actions.
-
Prioritize needs and wants- prioritizing your needs,
wants, and goals, both short-term and long term would allow you to get
to know yourself better and even find someone who’s perfect for you to
spend your time with.
-
Be realistic with yourself- you are probably the
only person with whom you should not feel the need to sugarcoat
anything at all. Be realistic with yourself in terms of your
capabilities and goals so you have clarity with yourself and you can
make the person in front of you clear regarding the same.
-
Being a better person- knowing and choosing yourself
comes with knowing your strengths and weaknesses. A good stephead
would be to recognize them, maintain your strengths and work on your
weaknesses.
Choosing a partner for yourself is a huge step, which ultimately frames
how your life will be. You need to be in a good and self-aware state
before you try to get another individual to share your life with. People
fear that choosing themselves would be a selfish move and avoid doing so
but choosing yourself and being selfish are mutually exclusive. In fact,
not choosing yourself, dealing with certain issues, and beginning a new
life with someone else without healing from your past problems might end
up ruining the other person s life. Marriage is not meant to heal all
your problems and your significant other is not meant to deal with
problems that they did not create. Partners should be supportive but not
your
Therapist's.
Choosing yourself is a step in the right direction, it leads to
self-growth and development in the best way, but it is especially
important when you wish to come into a romantic relationship.
Prioritizing yourself makes you aware of your strengths and weaknesses
and further stops people from taking you for granted. If you don’t value
yourself, maintain boundaries, and prioritize yourself, why would the
other person do that? You define your own worth for yourself and for
others to respect. A lack of self-worth and awareness would lead to
ambiguity in understanding your own wants and needs. Make sure you make
a list of things that you wish to have in your partner and see
accordingly. You will be able to make this list and stick to it only
after you re aware of your needs and respect them.
Some Ways To Choose Yourself
-
Taking care of yourself- while taking care of others
and being stuck in our busy schedules, we often forget to take care of
ourselves. This is harmful to your physical and mental health. Make
sure to have your own self-care days where you take care of yourself
in every way, shape, and form.
-
Be kind to yourself- the easiest person to
scrutinize is, unfortunately, our own selves. We can point out our
flaws faster than anyone else can and this is not healthy. Be kind to
yourself, especially on days when others are not treating you that
great. If you can have the ability to beat yourself up on your flaws,
you can surely build the ability to be nicer to yourself.
-
Do what you want- many of us don t like the course
that we have opted for for the job that we are in. Take out some days
to just relax with yourself or your partner and do what you genuinely
like
If you have a hard time understanding yourself and prioritising
yourself, you can always use professional help in doing so. Therapy
creates a professional and nonjudgmental space for you to express
yourself, your concerns, and the problems that you deal with. It aims to
make you feel safe and deal with your concerns in an adaptive way and
try to replace your maladaptive behaviors with adaptive ones.