Most humans love to communicate. Even the ones who don t, they are doing so without being aware of it. Communication does not always involve spoken words, but also the non-verbal cues that we pass with or without intending to do so. But if that is the case, then why do we struggle to get our point across or understand the other person? If it is that easy, then why is it one of the leading causes of conflicts in relationships?
This is because every type or form of communication is not effective communication. Just because you tried to communicate something does not guarantee that the other person understood your point or that it was transferred successfully
While the act of communicating plays an essential role for everyone, it plays an even more important role in relationships and how they play out for the parties involved. You might enjoy talking to your significant other or spend sleepless nights talking with them but still face issues due to lack of communication or ineffective communication. This is possible and is a widespread problem. These can be caused due to
- Conflicting or different ways of communicating: One person may be more assertive and direct, while the other person may be more passive and indirect. Neither of these is specifically ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ but finding a middle ground without hurting each other s sentiments is important
- Emotional Baggage: baggage from relationships may spill over your current ones, causing a hindrance in a successful relationship with your new partner. Past issues may stop you from opening up with this new person
- Lack Of Trust: it is hard to talk about sensitive things with another individual, more so if you have had bad experiences in the past. Not trusting your partner enough to open up about your thoughts and feelings can cause major conflicts
- Cultural Variations: Two people from different cultural backgrounds could communicate differently. Misunderstandings and incorrect interpretations may result from this.
- Language Barriers: Communication between two people who speak different languages can be quite challenging. Finding a means of communication, even if you don t speak the same language, is crucial for this reason.
- Fear Of Conflict: Some people will go to any lengths to avoid conflict, even if it means keeping their needs or feelings to themselves. Future bitterness and rage may result from this.
Rules For Healthy Communication
While there are no strict ‘rules’ for communicating, if you are someone who struggles with the above-mentioned issues, there are some practices that you should incorporate in your life which can help you to communicate more effectively
- Try listening instead of hearing the other person: When we are conversing with others, it may be pretty simple to tune out of what they are saying while we formulate our response. When we do this, we may miss some crucial information in addition to tuning out from the speaker. To fully comprehend what the other person is saying, listen. Wait until they ve completed speaking before requesting time if you need it to prepare a response. Make space at the table so that everyone may be heard and understood. Which includes yourself
- Be upfront and sincere: This entails being honest with yourself regarding your needs, wants, and thoughts. Additionally, it entails being prepared to disclose your vulnerabilities to your spouse.
- Actively listen: This requires paying attention to your partner s verbal and nonverbal cues. It also entails posing questions to get more information and demonstrate that you re paying attention.
- Stop using epithets, slurs, and putdowns: These forms of communication are damaging. They may harm your bond and make resolving disputes more challenging.
- Pay attention to the here and now. Try to focus on the conversation you are having with your spouse. Do not assume their intentions or bring up prior disagreements.
- Be open to negotiating. Since no two people are precisely the same, you will occasionally need to make concessions to your partner. While this does not require you to give up your own needs or desires, it does require that you be willing to compromise.
- When you re incorrect, apologize. Everyone errs occasionally. When you do, be prepared to try to make things right with your partner and extend an apology.
- Disagreements should be resolved favorably. Try to come to an amicable conclusion to any disagreements you may be having. For example, you might say, "I love you," or "I m glad we were able to talk about this."