Factors To Consider While Choosing A Life Partner

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Counselling Psychologist - M.Sc. Clinical Psychology

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Counselling Psychologist - Ph.D. Relationship Psychology

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Whenever we think about choosing a life partner, we ask ourselves, “How do I know he/she is the one?” But to answer that question, we first need to understand what a relationship is. A relationship is a connection between two entities. This connection can be emotional, physical, professional, etc. When we start to develop feelings for someone, we usually observe their characteristics and behaviour which are familiar to every other human being like sense of humour, attractiveness, kindness, intelligence, etc. The person’s traits, gestures and many other of their characteristic features make us attracted to them and we tend to see them as a potential candidate to have a relationship with. 

Finding someone whom you connect with easily, whose presence makes you feel at ease, having their support in difficult times, a shoulder to rely on, having someone to open up with in stressful times and, most importantly, a person who loves and respects you is what most people look for in a life partner, and finding that life partner can be difficult. It is advised to handle these decisions with care and patience. Rushed decisions may lead to conflicts from both ends. While doubts and misconceptions are inevitable, when they are cleared, it will all be worth the wait.

A relationship can be healthy or unhealthy depending on the nature of the person in the relationship. Healthy relationships are those which consist of open communication and mutual honesty, trust and respect. It also involves compromises from both individuals without offending the sentiments of each other. The characteristics of a healthy relationship are- Commitment, being kind, making decisions together, understanding, support and enjoying each other’s company. Being in a healthy relationship brings in a stable and peaceful state of mind where individuals can carry on their day-to-day activities without any hindrances. On the other hand, unhealthy relationships are opposite to healthy ones. It involves either partner trying to take control over their significant other. They consider themselves superior and feel entitled to make life choices for their partners. They don’t respect their partner’s opinions and when their significant other says something contradicting their ideas, they jump into emotional and mental abuse. There is no room for open communication and respecting opinions, which causes frustration and exhausts the mental state of their significant other. 

Here are the factors to consider while choosing a life partner:


The meaning of maturity is fully developed and behaving like an adult. A mature person will show maturity in four ways: Emotional, Physical, Mental and Spiritual. An Emotionally mature person understands and respects your point of view and openly communicates without hurting or offending others. A Physically mature person is seen by maintaining a healthy lifestyle like healthy dietary habits, exercising daily, practising meditation, etc. On a Mental level, it is about how accepting a person is when faced with difficult situations and apologises when they are wrong. On a Spiritual level, it shows the person’s perspective on life. They tend to say things like “happiness does not come from materialistic things” or “nothing is permanent, enjoy the moment while you can”. 


Empathy means putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. It means to know how the other person is feeling by understanding their perspective. An empathetic person will view things from your perspective to understand you better.


Affection not only comes in physical ways but also emotional. An affectionate person will show affection physically but also emotionally, which means a feeling of trust, closeness, warmth and love will develop towards the other person. Being affectionate not only means being able to hug, and hold hands but also building the relationship to be able to trust and being the support system for their significant other. 


Most people do not consider this an integral part of choosing a significant other, but it also plays a role in understanding the other person better. The chemistry between two people means having a sense of understanding about the other person’s likes and dislikes and relating to them. Having chemistry will help you to stimulate the status of the relationship and can get a general understanding of the person’s behaviour and characteristics. 

Anger Management 

One of the main factors to look out for while choosing a life partner is how well can they control and manage their anger. One of the root problems of developing toxicity in a relationship is the inability to control their anger. Temperament is an important factor to note while choosing a life partner. If a person gets uncontrollably angry and acts out on aggression then one must consider supporting and helping them before taking any serious decisions

Ms. Priyanka Walia
Ms. Priyanka Walia M.A. Counselling Psychology Counselling Psychologist 05 years of experience

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Ms. Muskan Maheshwari
Ms. Muskan Maheshwari M.Sc. Clinical Psychology Clinical Psychologist 02 years of experience

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Mr. Nishant Sharma
Mr. Nishant Sharma M.Phil. Clinical Psychology Clinical Psychologist 07 years of experience

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Ms. Akshita Bakshi
Ms. Akshita Bakshi Ph.D. Relationship Psychology Counselling Psychologist 05 years of experience

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