How Can I Put More Effort Into My Marriage

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Written By:

Counselling Psychologist - M.Sc. Clinical Psychology

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Reviewed By:

Counselling Psychologist - Ph.D. Relationship Psychology

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It is often thought that once a couple gets married they can stop putting in the effort because they are now in a “forever bond”. But this is a very unhealthy approach and can be a reason why many marriages are unhappy ones. 

Healthy relationships require constant effort. They don’t appear out of thin air but are created. Partners should never take each other for granted even if they are in a “forever bond” like a marriage. 

Some ways to put efforts into your marriage so it is fulfilling for both of you:

  1. Make time for Affection - 

While this might sound boring, scheduling in regular dates and times for affection have almost never gone wrong. Take out time to be intimate with one another. This doesn’t always have to be sex, but can also be just showing each other some love through cuddling, or holding hands. Go out on a date every week. Most of the time the weekend is just spent in completing chores, but taking time out to dress up and go on a date will help keep the spark alive! 

  1. Communicate - 

This is a very important aspect of a healthy relationship. When you communicate with your partner on a timely basis on your needs, on what is working, what is not working and what you would like better - you are including your partner into your life. This gives them the opportunity to provide for you and provide to you. If you hold back on things to say, you will always be dissatisfied in the relationship. 

  1. Have Regular Check In’s - 

Having weekly check-ins or monthly check-ins can be very helpful to strengthening a relationship. During a check-in, partners get together and discuss important things like their feelings, thoughts that are bothering them, joint decisions like financial decisions. This way your partner won’t feel that they are alone in the marriage. Check-in’s give you and your partner the time to talk to each other, something that often gets overlooked when you are caught up with busy lives. 

  1. Use your Words Wisely - 

Never underestimate the power of words. Your words have the power to make or break someone’s day. So don’t forget to shower your partner with frequent compliments or just appreciate them for all that they do. This simple act of gratitude in the form of words can go a long way in keeping your marriage happy. 

  1.  Do things Together - 

Oftentimes parents of little children split tasks so that more work can get done. But this creates a separation between you and your partner. If it is not possible for all tasks, try to do a few things together. Help each other out with chores or in taking care of your children. Don’t forget that these can also be turned into fun activities. Like playing music while doing the chores, a weekly picnic with your children etc. 

  1. Be their Biggest Cheerleader - 

If you are worried that you are not doing things perfectly in the relationship, remember that done is always better than perfect. DOn’t get caught up in trying to be perfect in your marriage. You are going to falter sometimes and confiding in your partner can encourage you to grow together. 

  1. Self-Care - 

One of the best ways to put effort into your marriage is to put effort into yourself. Don’t neglect your self-care. Take some time for yourself and indulge in things that only you enjoy. This way you retain your vitality and energy to keep your partner happy.

If you find that you or someone you know is struggling with maintaining a happy relationship or marriage, fret not! Our platform CoupleBees is here to help you! 

Ms. Priyanka Walia
Ms. Priyanka Walia M.A. Counselling Psychology Counselling Psychologist 05 years of experience

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Ms. Muskan Maheshwari
Ms. Muskan Maheshwari M.Sc. Clinical Psychology Clinical Psychologist 02 years of experience

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Mr. Nishant Sharma
Mr. Nishant Sharma M.Phil. Clinical Psychology Clinical Psychologist 07 years of experience

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Ms. Akshita Bakshi
Ms. Akshita Bakshi Ph.D. Relationship Psychology Counselling Psychologist 05 years of experience

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