How Do I Teach My Partner About My Emotional Needs

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Written By:

Counselling Psychologist - M.Sc. Clinical Psychology

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Reviewed By:

Counselling Psychologist - Ph.D. Relationship Psychology

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What are Emotional Needs? 

Emotional needs refer to the emotional requirements that people have in relationships related to their emotional state of mind. These needs are very important to have in a relationship because these can allow you to feel valued, secure and safe in a relationship. When you are expressive of your emotional needs to your partner, then you are allowing yourself to be the authentic version of yourself and allowing your partner to be the same. 

Having emotional needs can help you feel satisfied in your relationship and can also have a positive impact on your well-being. When your partner pays attention to your emotional needs, a sense of belongingness is created where you both can grow in love and trust. This way you will be more resilient during conflict situations and will have an overall healthy dynamic with each other in the relationship. 

Just like your diet requires certain nutrients in order to be holistic and good for your well-being, emotional needs are like the nutrients of your relationship. These needs range from basic things like respect, harmony, love and grander scheme of things like empathy, compromise, and security. Emotional needs can be stated as, 

  1. Validation and Affection, 
  2. Respect and Safety, 
  3. Empathy and Compassion, 
  4. Support and Encouragement, 
  5. Trust and Belongingness,
  6. Happiness and Intimacy, 
  7. Comfort and Growth, 
  8. Care and Love, 
  9. Personal Space and Boundaries, 
  10. Resilience and Coping. 

5 Signs your Partner Cares about your Emotional Needs 

As we’ve mentioned previously, if your partner cares about your emotional needs then you are going to have a healthy and fulfilling relationship. These are some of the signs that your partner cares about your emotional needs, 

  1. Empathetic Conversations - 

If your partner has empathetic conversations with you where they are putting the effort to understand your perspective or your point of view, then they are being considerate of your emotional needs. Empathetic conversations also involve being open and expressive about your feelings and thoughts so that misunderstandings don’t arise. 

  1. Support & Encouragement - 

When your partner cares about your emotional needs, then they are going to be extremely supportive of you during all kinds of situations. Support and encouragement involves making you feel safe, comforted, and secure. If your partner makes you feel valued, challenges you and helps you to bounce back from conflict situations, then they are mindful of your emotional needs. 

  1. Affection & Validation - 

If your partner showers you with compliments, and appreciates your efforts from time to time, then it is a sign that they care about your emotional needs. Providing reassurance and validation is also a sign that your partner cares about your emotional needs. 

  1. Resilience & Coping - 

A big part of caring about emotional needs is ensuring that you and your partner are resilient in conflict situations and uncomfortable situations. As conflicts and arguments are part and parcel of every relationship, it is important that you and your partner have a resilience mindset so that you can bounce back from these negative situations. If your partner brainstorms solutions with you at the end of a fight, and puts the effort to support and understand you, then they are being mindful of your emotional needs.  

  1. Consistency - 

Fulfilling emotional needs, like any other aspect of a relationship, requires consistent and dedicated actions. If your partner puts in consistent efforts to make you feel safe and secure and make the relationship healthy, then they care about your emotional needs. 

How do I teach My Partner about My Emotional Needs?

Teaching your partner about your emotional needs is important for maintaining the health and vitality of your relationship. These are some of the ways in which you can help your partner know about your emotional needs, 

  1. Encourage Open Conversation - 

You should encourage your partner to have more open conversations. Having open and honest conversations about your emotions and thoughts will help the relationship because it will increase the understanding between you two. When you encourage your partner to be more open, they will respond in the same way to your emotions and thoughts. This way you will give your partner room to meet your emotional needs. 

  1. Fair Conflict - 

One more way in which you can help your partner be more mindful of your emotional needs is by encouraging fair conflict. Conflicts are part and parcel of every relationship. But what is important is if you are fighting fairly or unfairly. When you show your partner a more fair way of fighting, then your partner will learn how to be more mindful of your emotional needs. 

  1. Appreciation - 

Showing appreciation is one of the most basic emotional needs that you must receive in a relationship. You must encourage your partner to show affection by showing them affection from time to time. Appreciate them for their efforts,  and acknowledge their actions. This will act as a positive reinforcement and will reinforce healthy behaviours on the behalf of your partner. 

  1. Self-Reflection - 

It is important to reflect on your needs from time to time. If you are unaware of your needs or how exactly you can be made to feel safe and secure then communicating the same to your partner will be a difficult task. This is why you must reflect on what your needs actually are from time to time and ensure that you do your best in communicating them to your partner. 

  1. Seek Professional Help - 

If the problem still persists, then you must seek professional help. A professional therapist or a relationship expert will help you and your partner reflect on your emotional needs and will help you work on meeting them without any discomfort. 

It is important to know that emotional needs are very fragile and subtle. They are not as obvious sometimes as physical needs. This is why you and your partner must put in the effort to make sure that the emotional needs of each other be respected. Our experts will be able to help you on your journey of having an emotionally healthy relationship! 

Ms. Priyanka Walia
Ms. Priyanka Walia M.A. Counselling Psychology Counselling Psychologist 05 years of experience

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Ms. Muskan Maheshwari
Ms. Muskan Maheshwari M.Sc. Clinical Psychology Clinical Psychologist 02 years of experience

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Mr. Nishant Sharma
Mr. Nishant Sharma M.Phil. Clinical Psychology Clinical Psychologist 07 years of experience

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Ms. Akshita Bakshi
Ms. Akshita Bakshi Ph.D. Relationship Psychology Counselling Psychologist 05 years of experience

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