How Does Vulnerability Help In Building Emotional Intimacy

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Counselling Psychologist - M.Sc. Clinical Psychology

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Reviewed By:

Counselling Psychologist - Ph.D. Relationship Psychology

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Being vulnerable means expressing oneself openly, when you don t hide your true self. Being vulnerable often sounds scary as being vulnerable puts you in a position where you’re prone to be hurt, hence people tend to put a face to deal with other individuals. This isn t necessarily a bad thing, we often do this in order to safeguard ourselves from getting hurt. 

Vulnerability comes from being open about yourself, your thoughts, and your emotions. Doing so allows for emotional intimacy between couples. 

What Is Emotional Intimacy  

Emotional intimacy is a lot more than just ‘closeness’ between people. It allows for deep connections between individuals where they feel safe around each other. Feeling safe would further allow you to open up and express yourself, your true thoughts, and your emotions without any hesitation. The usual uncertainty which exists between people is due to the fear that whatever they say and express might be used against them or might lead to the other person hurting them. But when you feel safe, this hesitation is left behind which further elevates the relationship at many levels. 

Physical intimacy is not only good for relationships but also the individual itself as having someone to confide in without having to unnecessarily filter yourself is healthy as it eliminates the risk of things piling up in your head and causing further issues. 

Ways To Be Vulnerable In A Relationship

Telling your partner that you are so in love with them that you will stick around even if they choose to cheat on you might not be the best form of vulnerability. There are certain things that you should consider before sharing everything with your partner. Even after knowing how being vulnerable may be good for you and your relationship, it is not quite easy to execute it. Here are some small steps you can take to be more vulnerable:

  1. Asking for forgiveness- accepting your mistake and asking for forgiveness show that you are not scared of admitting your mistakes and it further shows that you are sorry and willing to work on the issue. 
  2. Letting them know that you re hurt- you dont need to keep it to yourself when you are hurt. You can openly express if you ever feel hurt by someone s words or actions. 
  3. Start slow- you dont need to share your deepest fears and secrets in a rush in order to form a bond. You can start to slow in order to gain their trust and move ahead with sharing more things as you start to feel more and more secure and comfortable. 
  4. Maintain boundaries- you dont need to share ‘everything’ with another individual in order to be vulnerable or promote emotional intimacy. If there are topics that bring you deep pain or some things that you simply should not share for your own safety then you should keep them to yourself.
  5. Maintaining self-respect- don’t lose yourself to the other person in an effort to build a stronger bond. Maintain your sense of self and self-respect, if you feel like your partner does not support you, is not sensitive to you and your issues, or does not respect your voice and opinions then it might not be smart to keep sharing everything that you feel as they may be used against you later. 

Role Of Emotional Intimacy In Relationships 

Emotional intimacy plays a role in other forms of intimacy such as physical and spiritual as well. Being able to indulge in physical closeness with someone comes through vulnerability and a sense of comfort, which can be achieved through emotional closeness. Another thing that can be achieved through emotional closeness is reduced levels of stress. Stress can cause a hindrance in physical closeness and intimacy. A good way to deal with and reduce that stress would be to discuss and share your stress with your partner. Knowing that you have someone to hear you out and even help you when required is a sign of a healthy relationship. 

Emotional closeness or intimacy should be valued by both you and your partner. The want to maintain a healthy relationship should be mutual between the partners along with the efforts that should be made in order to execute the thought.

Ms. Priyanka Walia
Ms. Priyanka Walia M.A. Counselling Psychology Counselling Psychologist 05 years of experience

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Ms. Muskan Maheshwari
Ms. Muskan Maheshwari M.Sc. Clinical Psychology Clinical Psychologist 02 years of experience

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Mr. Nishant Sharma
Mr. Nishant Sharma M.Phil. Clinical Psychology Clinical Psychologist 07 years of experience

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Ms. Akshita Bakshi
Ms. Akshita Bakshi Ph.D. Relationship Psychology Counselling Psychologist 05 years of experience

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