Difficult In-Laws How To Get Along And Protect Your Relationship

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Counselling Psychologist - M.Sc. Clinical Psychology

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Reviewed By:

Counselling Psychologist - Ph.D. Relationship Psychology

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You must have come across daily soaps where the newlywed bride and her in-laws don t get along. Daily soaps have instilled the idea in our minds that getting along with your inlaws is extremely hard and there might be some truth to it. Getting along with your inlaws, who are from different generations and family backgrounds might pose a bigger issue than you may have suspected.

It is important to understand why the issue exists in the first place. You might not want to do this, but thinking from their point of view is essential. You must understand that most parents are possessive about their children and want the best for them. Especially when it comes to spending your life with someone, they would want a peaceful and successful marriage life for their children. For them to feel confident about whom their child spends the rest of their life with, it is essential for you to gain their confidence. Gaining this confidence is essential for everyone’s peace of mind and this won t come overnight. You are essentially building a new relationship with new people which comes with its own troubles and must be dealt with patience.
Ways To Build A Better Relationship With Them 

Not getting along with your inlaws isn t the ultimate doom for your relationship or your marriage. It takes a little time and effort to get to a stage where you have gained their trust and are able to talk to them comfortably. There are some ways that you can try to build a better relationship with your in-laws:

  • Be empathetic- Try being in their shoes to truly understand why the issues are arising and what the next steps are that you should take in order to reduce the conflict.
  • Be patient- It is not a short process to build a relationship from the ground up; it takes a lot of time, patience, and forgiveness in order to build effective relationships, especially the ones which are meant to last.
  • Give each other a chance- You are bound to make mistakes, and so will they. Be sure to give each other opportunities to realize and correct one’s mistakes. 
  • Spend time- There s almost nothing that time can t fix, spend time with them, go out for a day, and have fun.
  • Find similarities- if you are confused about what you should talk about, then it might be helpful to figure out some similarities or hobbies that you might want to discuss and work on together. 
  • Avoid discussing touchy subjects- it s better to avoid very deep and touchy conversations with them because the chances that you might accidentally offend them are very high. Get to know them, talk to them casually, and then try to delve deeper into their lives and open up about yours too.

Being empathetic of others and their feelings is the key to handling tricky situations involving loved ones, especially while handling the ones who might not be on the same side as you. It is essential for both sides if not one, to understand where the other person is coming from and why they raise certain arguments. The identification and acceptance of the other person s opinions and voice allows for mutual understanding and conflict resolution. 

It is important to remember that you are not alone. Many people struggle to get along with their in-laws. With time, patience, and effort, you can learn to build a more positive relationship with your in-laws. If the situation is bad enough that any form of relationship is simply not possible then try discussing the issue with your partner and consider moving out with your partner to maintain peace in everyone s lives. At the end of the day, remember that they are your in-laws and not your friends, it is okay if you don t talk to them like you do with your friends, but mutual respect is important and should be maintained.

How Can Therapy Help 

If you are unable to handle or deal with the situation internally, you can involve outside forces, such as professional therapy! Therapy is a great way to solve issues between family dynamics which may have blown out of proportion or have been lingering around for too long and causing unnecessary hindrances to peaceful family life. 

Ms. Priyanka Walia
Ms. Priyanka Walia M.A. Counselling Psychology Counselling Psychologist 05 years of experience

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Ms. Muskan Maheshwari
Ms. Muskan Maheshwari M.Sc. Clinical Psychology Clinical Psychologist 02 years of experience

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Mr. Nishant Sharma
Mr. Nishant Sharma M.Phil. Clinical Psychology Clinical Psychologist 07 years of experience

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Ms. Akshita Bakshi
Ms. Akshita Bakshi Ph.D. Relationship Psychology Counselling Psychologist 05 years of experience

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