How to rekindle the lost passion and romance between us

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Written By:

Counselling Psychologist - M.Sc. Clinical Psychology

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Reviewed By:

Counselling Psychologist - Ph.D. Relationship Psychology

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When you are new in the relationship, the first years are very beautiful and thrilling, you and your partner enjoy each other’s company a lot, but as time passes, whether married or unmarried, attraction between the partners both physical and emotional can be hard to maintain overtime, the passion and romance in the relationship seems lost.

“Love her so much that she might doubt your sanity…but never your passion”

– Dean Jackson

What is passion in a romantic relationship?

Passion in a romantic relationship means to be in a state of having an intense longing and union with each other. In a relationship, passion can be known as an emotional state in which both partners have an intense desire and enthusiasm to be with each other. 

The question is, can we revive the lost passion in the relationship? 

The answer is yes, you can, but this requires lots of patience and time more importantly trust. 

Why do we start to lose passion in a relationship?

You might be wondering, where does the flame go? There are multiple reasons for the passion being lost in a romantic relationship over time. Some of them are:

  1. As time passes, other priorities get in the way, for example, the children, family, work, hobbies, etc. This starts to take our attention away and the flame of passion starts to fade.
  2. The same things we do to make the relationship more exciting and passionate start to wear off and it looks like a weekly or monthly routine because your partner becomes comfortable with that and the excitement fades away. 
  3. As life goes on, there are ups and downs and during the downs, the excitement goes away as our focus remains on life problems and how to solve it as soon as possible, people tend to lose interest in the relationship.
  4. The changing dynamics in the relationship is also one of the causes, as time passes, the personality of an individual in the relationship may change and become opposite to what they were.
  5. Holding grudges and hard feelings towards our significant other for things they may or may not have done can also contribute to losing the level of excitement and flame in the relationship. 

“If passion drives you, let the reason hold the reins”

– Benjamin Franklin 

There might be multiple reasons for the lost passion in the relationship, the good news is it can be rekindled and that excitement in the relationship can be back. Here are ways to rekindle the lost romance between you and your partner:

  1. Communication 

Communication is the key. Communicate with your partner, talk about your feelings, and ask them how they feel. Talk about the feelings you both share and they might feel the same and you can work together to get the passion back.

  1. Prioritize 

If you want to rekindle the lost passion and romance in the relationship then prioritize your relationship and put it above other things that are not necessary for you to do. Make your significant other feel the importance they hold in your life. 

  1. Make time for them

Carving out time to spend time with them is one of the most genuine gestures to do. Give them your attention and your time, do adventurous activities like going on a hike, or spend some quality time together like watching a movie together. 

  1. Acknowledgment

Acknowledge your partner by appreciating the things they do and are doing for you. Make them feel heard and understood by you, this way the spark of romance and passion may come back.

  1. Understand the downs

Understand the fluctuations in the relationship. No relationship is on its ups every time, there may be some downs, so try to understand them and bring out solutions. Sometimes just understanding the situation can help you deal with them.

  1. Curiosity 

Just like at the beginning of the relationship, we are so curious about our partners and ask them questions to know about them. Be curious with your partner and ask them about their life. You can also ask them about their profession, know about what they love working for.

If you have the intention of building a healthy relationship then knowing how to bring back the passion is important. If you still feel unable to do this on your own then you can always seek help from a therapist. Couples counselling can help both you and your partner as relationship counselors are trained professionals who will help you reignite the lost spark in the relationship leading both you and your partner to be a better version of themselves.

Ms. Priyanka Walia
Ms. Priyanka Walia M.A. Counselling Psychology Counselling Psychologist 05 years of experience

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Ms. Muskan Maheshwari
Ms. Muskan Maheshwari M.Sc. Clinical Psychology Clinical Psychologist 02 years of experience

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Mr. Nishant Sharma
Mr. Nishant Sharma M.Phil. Clinical Psychology Clinical Psychologist 07 years of experience

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Ms. Akshita Bakshi
Ms. Akshita Bakshi Ph.D. Relationship Psychology Counselling Psychologist 05 years of experience

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