What is Intimacy in a Relationship?
Intimacy refers to a deep connection that two people have with each other as a
result of their close romantic relationship. In a relationship, intimacy is a
very important component that determines if a relationship is healthy or not.
Having intimacy in your relationship ensures that you and your partner move
around synchronously and harmoniously.
There are primarily two types of intimacy
- Emotional Intimacy and
- Physical Intimacy.
Emotional intimacy refers to the ability to form emotional
connections with your partner in the form of vulnerability, trust, and
respect. It is a special bond where you and your partner do not fear judgment
or rejection from each other and are open to discussing your emotions openly.
Relationships that have emotional intimacy are filled with empathy and
understanding that make it more fulfilling.
Physical intimacy refers to forming a physical connection
with your partner. It is a level of closeness experienced by couples when they
engage in touch and gestures that are not necessarily sexual in nature. For
example, holding hands, cuddling, giving each other a massage, kissing,
hugging, etc. Physical and emotional intimacy is interlinked. Most physical
intimacy occurs as a result of some form of emotional intimacy and hence
cannot be studied in isolation. The acts of physical intimacy are performed to
show the other partner love, care, and affection and do not have to be always
sexual in nature.
Is it really important?
Yes, intimacy is extremely important in a relationship. It shows that you and
your partner are going in a healthy direction. When there is intimacy in a
relationship it creates a deep sense of safety between you and your partner.
It fosters long-term stability and also has a significant impact on your
well-being.
Couples who are in an intimate relationship together are known to be feeling
more positive emotion, and positive well-being. Hence, it is essential that we
try to build more intimacy in our relationships.
Is it possible for a Relationship to survive a Lack of Intimacy?
As we mentioned previously, it is very difficult for a relationship to survive
without any form of intimacy. When there is no intimacy in a relationship, it
can leave you and your partner not experiencing any kind of safety. There are
many reasons for a lack of intimacy -
Lack of Communication
A lack of communication can contribute to a lack of intimacy in a
relationship. When you and your partner are not aware of each other’s
feelings, thoughts, and emotions and are not communicative about it, then
there is bound to be some misunderstandings that can lead to a lack of
intimacy. This also includes not expressing your needs and wants clearly,
being secretive, or holding back some things that you want to say in the
relationship.
Fear of Intimacy
Sometimes a cause for poor intimacy is a fear of getting intimate. There could
be many reasons for this as well. Perhaps you’ve had negative past
experiences, or you have an attachment style that is holding you back from
being vulnerable with your partner.
Living in Disconnection
A lack of intimacy can be caused when you and your partner live in complete
disconnection from each other. Maybe you both are caught up in your rigorous
routines and are not able to schedule a time to be romantic with each other.
Over time this can deplete the intimacy levels of your relationship.
How to Fix Intimacy Issues?
Despite all of this, intimacy is something that can be learned and it’s never
too late to try and restore intimacy in your relationships. Just like any
other relationship habit, intimacy also requires hard work and consistent
efforts on the part of both partners.
Communicate More
One of the first things you can do to restore intimacy in your relationship is
by communicating more with your partner. You can start by telling them what
you like and what you dislike in the relationship. You can also have regular
discussions on your needs and wants and discuss how you both can try to meet
them. This way you are slowly opening the gates of vulnerability and trusting
your partner to make you feel safe and vice versa. This will go a long way in
ensuring more intimacy in your relationship.
Share your Feelings
Sharing your thoughts, feelings, and emotions will help in restoring the lost
emotional intimacy in your relationship. Don’t hold yourself back from your
partner, if you do it will only create a bigger barrier between you both.
Instead, practice by sharing what you are feeling on a daily basis in small
doses. This will allow your partner to help you and support you. Eventually
sharing can help in building trust between you and your partner and this will
restore the intimacy that was once lost.
Make time for Romance
A very important aspect of rebuilding lost intimacy is making time for
romance. We all have busy schedules but it is important to show our partner
that we love them by engaging in romantic endeavours. This can be scheduling
weekly dates with your partner or making time for movie nights. Another
effective way is to take time to be physically intimate with your partner.
This does not always mean sex. Apart from sex, you must engage in frequent
touching with your partner such as holding their hands and caressing their
hair. Being in close physical touch has been known to improve oxytocin (love
hormone) levels and so it is a useful bridge to reduce a lack of intimacy.
Attend Couples Counselling
This might be unconventional for many people, but couples counselling is a
very effective way to work on any intimacy issues you might be experiencing
with your partner. When you visit a Relationship
Therapist
together you can work on your triggers, traumas, and other insecurities with
the support of your partner. It allows you and your partner to have more
empathy for each other and can lead you toward having deeper intimacy.
Having intimacy in your relationship is very important but it doesn’t have to
be achieved on your own! We are here to help you!
How CoupleBees Can Help
Our platform, CoupleBees, is a blog designed to help you navigate through
issues like trauma that could be impacting your relationships. The platform is
maintained by Relationship Experts who have curated and reviewed the content
by reflecting on real-world scenarios. This is a platform where you can get
professional insights on ways to work through your trauma by developing
self-compassion, empathy, and resilience. We also provide a safe space for
those who want to hear from other couples and their experiences. Along with
this, our experts provide personalized advice in their therapy sessions, so
feel free to reach out to our experts for further help on being your best
self!