Rekindle the Couple Romance in Relationship - A Complete Guide

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Counselling Psychologist -

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Counselling Psychologist - MA Psychology Pennsylvania State University, USA

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Rekindle the Couple Romance in Relationship - A Complete Guide

Falling in love is beautiful, full of surprises and warmth. However, sustaining this lovely emotion as a constant can be challenging. Love shouldn t fade with time, yet, life s daily grind can sometimes dim the romantic spark once shared between partners. 

Discover how to rekindle romance in your romantic relationship with CoupleBees. Our guide offers practical tips for couples to strengthen their bond

Before we dive into the “how” aspect, let s rediscover the “Why”.

The Role of Attraction - Physical attraction vs. Emotional attraction

Attraction in a relationship is common yet difficult to sustain. But it is important to understand the difference between physical and emotional attraction. While Physical might start fading with time, it is the emotional one that binds two individuals together in romantic relationships.

Physical Attraction is the initial spark and butterflies felt just by thinking about the romantic partner. This attraction is triggered by outer beauty and facial features including the fashion sense and even scent at times. These preferences are influenced by cultural as well as societal norms. While this aspect is almost paramount to the beginning of a beautiful romantic relationship, it is not enough for sustaining the same for a long term. That’s when Emotional and deeper connection comes into play.

Emotional Attraction is more than meets the eye! Attraction towards personality, values, intellect, sense of humor, and emotional compatibility fosters a deeper connection that fuels intimacy and long-term fulfillment. It is about shared experiences, memories and the need to continue to live those romantic moments again and again. Probably this is what our parents experience in their marriage relationship!

Try to remember what drew you to each other, what made your relationship special. Reflect on cherished memories, shared values, and what truly excites you about your partner. This foundation will fuel your efforts and remind you why it s worth the investment.

How important is romance in a long-term relationship?

Romance is a significant but not necessary component of a long term relationship. While it is important for the beginning of the romantic relationship, it might not be the same for every couple throughout the course of the Couple Relationship

Sternberg’s triangular theory of love, proposed by psychologist Robert Sternberg, describes love in terms of three core components: intimacy, passion, and commitment. Intimacy encompasses emotional closeness and connection, promoting understanding and support. Passion refers to physical and sexual attraction, driving romantic and sexual desire. 

Commitment represents the decision to maintain and nurture love over time. The theory suggests that different combinations of these elements result in various types of love experiences, with the ideal being dependent on the needs of the partners.

Challenges to Maintaining Romance

Moving on to the challenges and reasons that might reduce this spark and attraction is the first step towards rekindling the romance. Let us try to understand a few of the possible causes for reduced romance and spark in a healthy relationship otherwise.

  • Taking each other for granted: One of the major and most common problems faced by couples is that they stop putting in effort to make each other feel special after a while, don’t plan surprises anymore and don’t give each other the time they used to. This reduces the feelings of being valued and appreciated by the partner.
  • Routine and familiarity: Everyday life takes over after the initial phase. This can create a mundane attitude even towards the partner decreasing the excitement and adventure feelings. 
  • Poor Communication: Being able to communicate honestly and openly about however we are feeling is paramount to a healthy relationship. If communication breaks down due to any reason, it can cause frustration and resentment to build up leading to pushing the partners apart.
  • Unresolved Conflicts: Holding on to past hurts and conflicts can cause a negative atmosphere within the couple. This lack of closure and resolution can reduce the connection between the couple making it difficult for them to feel close.  

Rekindle the Romance:

It should be understood that it is totally normal for a romantic relationship or marriage relationship to feel like it’s fading out, and even to question whether it’s time to leave and move on. 

Whether the relationship dip is the fallout of a major life event—like an affair—or just years and years of following the mundane routine, following are some expert tips on how to revive the connection, rekindle the romance, and fall in love all over again.

Revisiting the Beginning: Reviewing your old photographs, reading the previous chats, and revisiting your old date spots, can help you bring back the memories and emotions attached to them, and it might help you understand the very reason why you fell in love with your partner in the first place! This reminiscing helps romantic couples see the better version of themselves and removes focus from conflicts, disagreements, and fights that might be the current focus. Especially married couples and romantic couples in long-term relationships must try to do this.

Show Physical Affection: With time the romance between the couple begins to die because of reduced display of Affection. Physical touch in the form of kissing, hugging, or holding hands, strengthens the connection owing to the release of the “love” hormone called Oxytocin enhancing the “happy” feeling. This feeling is then remembered as the one that comes when you are around your partner! Married Couples should especially practice physical affection more often to stay connected to their partners.

Plan Surprises: Don t let the busy schedules kill the thrill of date nights and surprises. Plan surprise picnics, cook a romantic meal together, or explore a new hobby as a couple. To bring back the excitement, it is important to feel the excitement like before! Such thoughtful gestures keep the romance and adventure alive between the partners. Dates reflect that the partners appreciate the time they spend together. There is nothing like a few hours of quality time!

Try new things together: Creating new experiences together can foster shared memories and excitement thereby enhancing the connection between the romantic couple. The partners must always explore new things with their partners. This can include anything from trying a new cuisine, visiting a new place or cafe, to planning a weekend getaway. Anything that brings you the joy of spending time with your partner and making romantic memories works as a catalyst to lost spark.

Gift each other Happiness: Giving thoughtful gifts to the romantic partner is like showing that “I care for you” and “I value you”. It is not about the materialistic gift per se but it is about the thought behind the present. Gifts showcase love and consideration for the partner’s needs and desires. These gifts are a repertoire of memories and beautiful emotions.

Support Personal Growth: Encouraging and supporting each other’s personal goals and interests can be incredibly attractive. It shows respect for your partner’s individuality and a desire for their happiness and fulfillment. This support can strengthen the emotional foundation of the romantic relationship.

Power of Gratitude: Always try to acknowledge the fact that your partner is special to you and you are grateful for having them. This makes them feel valued and cared for. Recognizing, acknowledging and appreciating the efforts put in by the partner strengthens the bond and love between the couple. This gratitude can be for as small efforts as making bed for the partner. But reflecting that you are thankful for the efforts helps the partner be happier while putting in the efforts. 

Work on the Conflicts: Both, Married couples and long-term romantic partners must openly communicate about the problems faced by them. Otherwise, the fatigue of past conflicts can affect the present course of the relationship. Resolve conflicts with open discussions and even arguing if needed. But any concern should not be left without closure. Move forward after finding solutions together of the previous fights. This will enhance the romantic bond and increase room for empathy in the relationship, helping in making it an ideal marriage or romantic relationship.

Work on Expectations: It is important to discuss expectations before it starts affecting the partners. Unsaid expectations do more harm than evident conflicts. The partners should communicate their expectations from each other and also what is unrealistic and not possible for them to reciprocate should also be a part of the discussion. Relationships are dynamic. There is no one size fits all approach to happiness in a relationship. Discuss and learn then expect!

Reaffirm the Commitment: Renewing the commitment towards the romantic partner can be powerful and attractive. When you are tired from the day and bored of routine life, knowing that your partner is still as committed to you as they were many years ago brings joy and Romance. This can be done by renewing the vows in case of marriage couples or simply re-proposing your partner in a small yet beautiful way. This commitment will remind the partners about the beautiful journey ahead of them together.

Seek Couple Counseling- If the partners are struggling to keep up with Romance for a long time, they must consider couple counseling for understanding the problem effectively and work on the same together with the therapist. Couple Counseling can help the romantic couple view the problem more objectively and openly discuss ways to solve the same. Couple Counseling also helps the couple to be able to communicate with their partners more effectively facilitating them strengthen their bond.

It should be remembered that Rekindling romance is a journey, not a destination. Patience, understanding, and consistent efforts are the key. Every relationship is unique whether it is a marriage relationship or a romantic couple relationship. The couples should choose strategies resonating with their needs and concerns.

Lastly, don t hesitate to seek guidance from a couple counselor if challenges faced are deeper. It is better to ask for help than losing something beautiful!

Frequently Asked Questions

Can a relationship survive without romance?
It can, but strong commitment and understanding is needed to foster the connection. If the romance is reduced, it is okay to consider ways to enhance the same.
What are some common challenges couples face in keeping the romance alive?
Owing to the busy routine, couples sometimes do not get time to show love and how much they care for each other. If this persists for a long time, it becomes difficult to appreciate and show love to the partner. Other challenges could be unresolved conflicts, taking each other for granted or some bigger change like change of cities owing to work.
What are some signs that romance is fading in a relationship?
Some of the signs could be reduced appreciation towards the partner, constant arguments about small things, not spending much quality time with each other or simply not saying “I love you” or “Thank you for everything you do” for a long time.
What are effective ways to apologize in a romantic relationship?
Partners can apologize to each other by communicating what went wrong and that they are sorry for whatever happened. This open communication can be supported with thoughtful gestures and gifts like picking the partner from work or cooking them their favorite meal.
How can we make everyday moments romantic?
Everyday moments can be made romantic by small gestures even in routine activities. Surprise your partner with sweet notes, fun adventures, and heartfelt compliments during the day. A simple heartfelt text during a busy day can light up emotions.

Ms. Priyanka Walia
Ms. Priyanka Walia M.A. Counselling Psychology Counselling Psychologist 05 years of experience

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Ms. Muskan Maheshwari
Ms. Muskan Maheshwari M.Sc. Clinical Psychology Clinical Psychologist 02 years of experience

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Mr. Nishant Sharma M.Phil. Clinical Psychology Clinical Psychologist 07 years of experience

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Ms. Akshita Bakshi Ph.D. Relationship Psychology Counselling Psychologist 05 years of experience

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