Your partner popped the question, and in all excitement and thrill you said ‘Yes’. B ut later you feel that this direction of the relationship is not the path you want to continue right now. Marriage is a state of companionship between two people and is also considered a significant milestone of your relationship with your partner. However, people sometimes rush into the decision of marriage without understanding the inference of the same. Marriage is considered as one of the major decisions of life and you might feel that your partner is ‘the one’ but when it comes to aligning compromise, future goals, etc you might face hesitation into implementing that. While you will get tempted to be a newlywed and experience the lifestyle of a married person, it involves long-term commitment, lots of patience, compromises, understanding for your partner and you may not be ready to give that.
So here are some signs that indicates that you are not ready for marriage:
- You have known each other for a short time - Sometimes meeting someone and you feel where they have been all your life and everything is so beautiful, you get serious just after a few months and after 2-3 months they ask to marry you and you feel yes. There are stages of being in love and rushing things in a relationship can be considered as red flags. You may not notice it now but it can have an effect on later stages.
- You do not trust them - Trust is known as the fundamental building block of a relationship and if you don’t trust them to share your secrets then you will not trust them even after marriage which will make it worse.
- Too many disagreements - You and your partner go through so many disagreements and it escalates into a fight. There is no space for peaceful conflict resolution then you should slow down, take a step back and think about the relationship.
- Your priorities are different than theirs - If your priorities don’t align with your partner’s then you should reconsider taking this huge step of being married, because if these are discussed later it can lead to emotional turmoil for both.
- You feel hesitant to settle down - Though it is considered as wedding blues and others might say that it is normal to get cold feet but when you actually feel hesitant, listen to your instincts and get the hint. No good will come out of this if you still wait for it to be normal once the wedding ceremony is over, it will just worsen the situation later.
- You cannot compromise - If you have been on your own most of the time and it might be difficult for you to compromise with your significant other. Even after making the decision to get married and settle together and you feel you cannot compromise then you are not ready for this step
- You feel pressured - Your friends are getting married, starting a family and you are just in a relationship, this creates a social pressure in you and you tend to rush things. Even your family members may force you indirectly to settle down and you feel like this is not the right time but you still want to be up to their standards.
- You think they can change - If things are not setting right with your partner and you feel that if you get married to them, they might change then you should reconsider that thought because as mentioned before marriage is a huge step and is considered another milestone to achieve in a relationship and if things are not right with your partner then you should discuss together to reach to a mutual decision keeping in mind the needs of each other.
Be honest and open with your partner and discuss with them about your goals and plans for the future. If there are still any issues in the relationship, work on them before getting on the road of marriage because marriage is not always an easy path, there are challenges to face and with patience and understanding, one can conquer these challenges easily together. If you feel pressurized then don’t be afraid to seek help, a therapist will help you to figure things out on your own which will benefit you not only for this decision but also for other life decisions as well.