There are certain experiences and incidents that we go through as we
grow up, it could be a 5-year-old or 50-year-old incident at this point,
but it can still affect you as an individual and your relationships. One
of these factors could be your childhood, how you were raised, or how
you were treated. The way primary caregivers handle the child reveals
much about the youngster and how they will develop. Although some
children are fortunate to enjoy a happy and healthy upbringing, others
are subjected to situations that are harmful to them. If the person
identifies the issues that they are facing due to their childhood and
works to deal with them, then it is a healthy way to deal with them. If
the person is not aware of them, then those unresolved issues may cause
more harm than expected.
Trauma is defined as "an event or series of events that are emotionally
painful or distressful, and that can have lasting negative effects on an
individual’s physical, emotional, social, and cognitive
development”.
Some Common Types Of Childhood Trauma Include:
-
Physical abuse: This is any form of physical harm
that is intentionally inflicted on a child, such as hitting, kicking,
burning, or shaking.
-
Sexual abuse: This is any form of sexual contact or
behavior that is forced or coerced on a child, or that a child does
not understand or is not able to consent to.
-
Emotional abuse: This is any form of non-physical
abuse that is intended to harm a child s emotional well-being, such as
name-calling, threats, or rejection.
-
Neglect: This is the failure to provide a child with
the basic necessities of life, such as food, shelter, clothing,
medical care, or emotional support.
-
Witnessing violence: This is when a child sees or
hears violence, such as domestic violence, community violence, or
war.
Ways Trauma Impacts Relationships
Unresolved trauma can have a profound impact on a person’s development.
A very important aspect of development is the relationships one forms as
they grows, these could be with parents, friends, or other romantic
relationships. Your trauma may influence your relationship in ways that
you are not aware of. While a good and strong upbringing may influence
the relationship in a positive manner, trauma, and unresolved matters
can impact your relationships in other ways, which could include:
-
Trust issues: If you were traumatized as a child,
you may have difficulty trusting others. This can make it difficult to
form close relationships, including romantic relationships. You may
worry that your partner will hurt you or leave you, and you may find
it hard to let them in emotionally.
-
Communication problems: Trauma can also affect your
communication skills. You may have difficulty expressing your
feelings, or you may be hypersensitive to criticism. This can lead to
misunderstandings and conflict in your relationships.
-
Fear of intimacy: If you experienced physical or
sexual abuse as a child, you may have difficulty with physical
intimacy in adult relationships. You may feel anxious or uncomfortable
being close to someone, or you may have flashbacks or nightmares of
the abuse.
-
Low self-esteem: Trauma can damage your self-esteem.
You may feel like you re not good enough, or you may have negative
beliefs about yourself. This can make it difficult to maintain healthy
relationships.
-
Reenactment: If you experienced trauma in your
childhood, you may subconsciously recreate those experiences in your
adult relationships. For example, if you were abused as a child, you
may find yourself in relationships with partners who are
abusive.
-
Setting boundaries: there are certain boundaries
that everyone should maintain. These boundaries differ based on the
individual and their relationship with the other person. Maintaining
and respecting your own boundaries stops others from overstepping and
disrespecting them.
Trauma and its impact on people tend to be serious and can hamper your
overall development in many ways. That impact may be explicit and
noticeable by others or implicit and something that you are dealing with
internally. Either way, it is essential for you to deal with it
effectively for your own and others well being. If you re struggling
with the effects of trauma in your relationships, it s important to seek
professional help. A
Therapist
can help you understand how your trauma is impacting your relationships
and develop healthy coping mechanisms.