Whenever we think about choosing a life partner, we ask ourselves, “How
do I know he/she is the one?” But to answer that question, we first need
to understand what a relationship is. A relationship is a connection between
two entities. This connection can be emotional, physical, professional, etc.
When we start to develop feelings for someone, we usually observe their
characteristics and behaviour which are familiar to every other human being
like sense of humour, attractiveness, kindness, intelligence, etc. The
person’s traits, gestures and many other of their characteristic
features make us attracted to them and we tend to see them as a potential
candidate to have a relationship with.
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Finding someone whom you connect with easily, whose presence makes you feel at
ease, having their support in difficult times, a shoulder to rely on, having
someone to open up with in stressful times and, most importantly, a person who
loves and respects you is what most people look for in a life partner, and
finding that life partner can be difficult. It is advised to handle these
decisions with care and patience. Rushed decisions may lead to conflicts from
both ends. While doubts and misconceptions are inevitable, when they are
cleared, it will all be worth the wait.
A relationship can be healthy or unhealthy depending on the nature of the
person in the relationship. Healthy relationships are those which consist of
open communication and mutual honesty, trust and respect. It also involves
compromises from both individuals without offending the sentiments of each
other. The characteristics of a healthy relationship are- Commitment, being
kind, making decisions together, understanding, support and enjoying each
other’s company. Being in a healthy relationship brings in a stable and
peaceful state of mind where individuals can carry on their day-to-day
activities without any hindrances. On the other hand, unhealthy relationships
are opposite to healthy ones. It involves either partner trying to take
control over their significant other. They consider themselves superior and
feel entitled to make life choices for their partners. They don’t
respect their partner’s opinions and when their significant other says
something contradicting their ideas, they jump into emotional and mental
abuse. There is no room for open communication and respecting opinions, which
causes frustration and exhausts the mental state of their significant other.
Here are the factors to consider while choosing a life partner:
Maturity
The meaning of maturity is fully developed and behaving like an adult. A
mature person will show maturity in four ways: Emotional, Physical, Mental and
Spiritual. An Emotionally mature person understands and respects your point of
view and openly communicates without hurting or offending others. A Physically
mature person is seen by maintaining a healthy lifestyle like healthy dietary
habits, exercising daily, practising meditation, etc. On a Mental level, it is
about how accepting a person is when faced with difficult situations and
apologises when they are wrong. On a Spiritual level, it shows the
person’s perspective on life. They tend to say things like
“happiness does not come from materialistic things” or
“nothing is permanent, enjoy the moment while you can”.
Empathy
Empathy means putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. It means to know
how the other person is feeling by understanding their perspective. An
empathetic person will view things from your perspective to understand you
better.
Affection
Affection not only comes in physical ways but also emotional. An affectionate
person will show affection physically but also emotionally, which means a
feeling of trust, closeness, warmth and love will develop towards the other
person. Being affectionate not only means being able to hug, and hold hands
but also building the relationship to be able to trust and being the support
system for their significant other.
Chemistry
Most people do not consider this an integral part of choosing a significant
other, but it also plays a role in understanding the other person better. The
chemistry between two people means having a sense of understanding about the
other person’s likes and dislikes and relating to them. Having chemistry
will help you to stimulate the status of the relationship and can get a
general understanding of the person’s behaviour and characteristics.
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One of the main factors to look out for while choosing a life partner is how
well can they control and manage their anger. One of the root problems of
developing toxicity in a relationship is the inability to control their anger.
Temperament is an important factor to note while choosing a life partner. If a
person gets uncontrollably angry and acts out on aggression then one must
consider supporting and helping them before taking any serious decisions
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