Most people have a rather restricted idea of intimacy which revolves around physical closeness. While physical closeness is an important aspect, intimacy between couples is much more than that. It covers physical, emotional, and spiritual intimacy as well. These concepts are hard to understand and harder to practice, but they are possible. It requires an in-depth understanding of the subject matter, your partner, and their wants, which cannot be done overnight. It takes time, effort, and patience to get there.
Different Types Of Intimacy
- Physical intimacy refers to physical closeness that can be achieved through sexual activities, but other forms could also include holding hands, hugging, and so on.
- Emotional intimacy refers to being connected with someone on a level where both parties involved feel comfortable enough to share thoughts, emotions, and opinions comfortably without the fear of judgment or being ridiculed. This leads to a deeper understanding between the individuals, and the connections become stronger.
- Spiritual intimacy is what creates a sense of purpose and value in the relationship. Sharing simile values and beliefs brings mutual growth and understanding between the parties involved.
Intimacy allows for connection between individuals. The connection grows as people learn to make each other comfortable and allow themselves to get vulnerable. Intimacy cannot be forced or be grown out of nowhere. It takes time and patience and most of all, it requires respect for the other person, their boundaries, and wants. Lack of these aspects would lead to potential damaging conflicts.
Some Reasons For Lack Of Intimacy
There are a variety of reasons that could be resulting in you not being able to build intimacy with your partner such as:
- Being insecure- about yourself and your body are major factors that contribute to people not being comfortable or not being able to form a connection. You might constantly indulge in thoughts about yourself, your body, how you look, and how you are performing which might ultimately hamper your performance.
- Lack of listening skills- listen to your partner, and comprehend what they are saying when they express their needs and wants. Try not to get defensive if they suggest you do something better and simply take it as a sign that your partner is comfortable with you and feels close enough to openly share their thoughts with you.
- Personal issues- there may be some unresolved issues between the both of you or the stuff that you deal with personally such as a busy and stressful lifestyle and so on.
- Past trauma- your past trauma may be holding you back from getting intimate with your new partner. Make sure that you deal with and accept your past issues before you get into a new relationship.
Some Ways To Improve Intimacy Between Couples
- Resolving personal issues there may be some unresolved issues between the both of you or your partner.
- Resolving Past trauma- your past trauma may be holding you back from getting intimate with your new partner. Make sure that you deal with and accept your past issues before you get into a new relationship.
- Spending time- spending time with your partner is a good way to get comfortable around each other in all senses and share.
- Effective communication- talking and sharing thoughts and opinions is a good way to know each other, how they feel about themselves, their values and opinions about the concerned topic and so much more.
- Focus on other forms of intimacy before physical intimacy- while physical intimacy increases the connection between people, there are some steps that you must consider before you jump there. Try to build on emotional intimacy, shared opinions, and values.
- Patience- time is severely underrated, it deals with and solves a lot of issues even when you cant. Be patient with yourself and your partner when it comes to sensitive issues.
Doing these would surely help in building the connection and intimacy that you wish to build. Intimacy in couples is a deep subject that goes far beyond and above physical intimacy. A lot of things go in when you wish to build a life with another individual who has a different family, life, and upbringing. The people involved should be aware of these conditions, accept them and then work towards them.
Being intimate with someone requires you to be comfortable with yourself and like yourself. If you aren t comfortable with yourself, then chances are you won t be able to be comfortable with others either. Working on yourself, accepting yourself, and identifying what you need to work on allows you to share those points with your partner so you both can work together, individually and collectively.
Personal stressors, unresolved issues, past trauma, lack of communication, fear of intimacy and comfort can build up over time which might ultimately lead to bigger conflicts. It is essential to identify and deal with these issues before it gets too late. Improved intimacy can often lead to better physical and mental intimacy and greater relationship satisfaction.