When Should I Stop Trying To Make It Work

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Written By:

Counselling Psychologist - M.Sc. Clinical Psychology

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Reviewed By:

Counselling Psychologist - Ph.D. Relationship Psychology

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Sometimes, people force relationships on another individual or their significant other. This is more common than you d think, and imagining yourself in this scenario is a little scary. Forcing a relationship, in simpler terms, simply means that the relationship exists for the sake of it. The lack of interest in making a successful relationship may be one-sided or mutual. 

There is a difference between being too comfortable in a relationship and the relationship being boring after a time. People tend to experience this in long-term relationships. While many relationships suffer from ‘losing the spark’ after a long time, it may feel like the relationship is forced, but that may simply be the case of both people being too comfortable. If you are confused right now, let s try to look at some points that can help you recognize if you have a healthy relationship that needs a little something to bring back the spark or if you are both simply forcing it.

Are You Trying To Force A Relationship?

Here are some signs for you to recognize if your relationship is forced

  • One of you is putting in more effort 

One of you may be putting in more effort than the other. And they may even be starting to feel exhausted, which may further turn into resentment. This is not just for romantic relationships, but any relationship that you may be in. If you seem to giving more than receiving in any relationship, there are signs that it may be slightly forced 

If you prioritize the relationship and staying together over you and your partner s interests, then you may be headed in the wrong direction. Once you start prioritizing anything or anyone over yourself, you may start losing yourself in them. While you may feel happy around them, losing yourself may take away from you as an individual, your sense of self, and your happiness, ultimately making the relationship and yourself unhealthy. 

  • You don t actually feel happy together 

Has it ever happened that you and your significant other hang out and you re not really happy? Do you feel like you want the day to end and just want to be alone? This might not be the best sign. Meeting and going on ‘dates’ for the sake of the relationship may end up with both of you feeling exhausted and even having a sense of resentment after a while. There are unspoken expectations that come along with a relationship; if you find yourself fulfilling those expectations mindlessly, then now may be the time to take a step back and think about what you are doing  

What Should I Do Now?

If you relate to any of these, we re sorry, but thankfully, there are some steps you can take to get back on track and prioritize yourself and your happiness 

  • Communicate 

One of the most obvious yet uncommon steps would be to communicate with your partner about how you feel. You could either be on the receiving end of a forced relationship or be the one forcing the relationship. Either way, you should communicate how you feel and try to figure out a solution for both parties to contribute to building a better relationship 

  • Take a break 

Taking a break is completely fine, especially when you are in dire need of one. If communicating with your partner does not lead to a solution, you may be exhausted and in need of a break. A mutually agreed-upon break may be beneficial for not just yourself but the relationship too. You can take this time to reflect on yourself and the relationship. 

  • End the relationship

If communicating, taking a break, and nothing else work, you might want to consider ending the relationship. This may sound scary but in the long run, it may be beneficial for everyone  

If you feel a little stressed out right now, this is a reminder for you to understand that it is okay to not be in ‘the’ relationship. You always have time to find a relationship where you feel valued and where you value your significant other. 

Ms. Priyanka Walia
Ms. Priyanka Walia M.A. Counselling Psychology Counselling Psychologist 05 years of experience

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Ms. Muskan Maheshwari
Ms. Muskan Maheshwari M.Sc. Clinical Psychology Clinical Psychologist 02 years of experience

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Mr. Nishant Sharma
Mr. Nishant Sharma M.Phil. Clinical Psychology Clinical Psychologist 07 years of experience

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Ms. Akshita Bakshi
Ms. Akshita Bakshi Ph.D. Relationship Psychology Counselling Psychologist 05 years of experience

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